One challenge that many people face during a fertility journey is managing unwelcome questions and comments.   This Tashlich ritual offers you an opportunity to discard those comments and the painful residue they leave in your heart. For this ritual you will need a pen, paper, crackers/matzah/stale bread or dried leaves, body of water or a large bowl/bucket of water.  You may want to perform this ritual in a place that is peaceful, quiet, and free from distractions. 

During Tashlich, many have the practice of throwing pieces of bread or something from nature into the water in order to symbolically discard our sins and mistakes.  This ritual models the idea that there are things in our lives that we may want to throw away, both emotionally and physically, and that doing so offers us deep healing. 

During your fertility journey you may have unintentionally amassed a collection of comments.  Many people who mean well will make comments or ask questions that can be painful and alienating.  People may ask you how many kids you have. They may suggest that you not wait too long. They may laugh and say that you are lucky, since their kids are so challenging.  Some may even bluntly ask if you are pregnant.  Irrespective of how you reply when faced with these comments, these words may remain with you long after the person who said them has moved on.  

Just like the elements of our lives that we seek to discard during the Tashlich ritual, you may want  an opportunity to discard these comments, as they do not serve you or offer you support.  This ritual will provide you with an opportunity to do so.

Begin this ritual by writing for yourself a list of as many of these comments as you can remember.  

Once you have your list, take a box of matzah, crackers, stale bread, or dried leaves and go to a body of water.  If you are not able to get to a body of water, feel free to do this in a large bowl or bucket of water.  Read the first item off your list, and as you do so, take a cracker/a piece of matzah/stale bread/dried leaf in your hand, and crush it into tiny crumbs.  Dust or throw those crumbs into the water. That comment is gone and is no longer something that needs to impact you and your wellbeing. Repeat this action for each comment on your list. 

Although this ritual is framed in connection to Tashlich, you are welcome to use it anytime.  Even if you just receive one unwelcome comment or question, and you feel it weighing on you, take a cracker or leaf, crush that comment and send it away. 

The comments and questions we receive can feel powerful, but in truth they are only as powerful as we allow them to be.  Feel free to  use this ritual, or any other method that helps you, to remove these comments for your consciousness. In place of these painful comments, allow your heart to fill with comments that nourish and support you, and questions that are abundantly compassionate. 


Booklet Section: Looking Back / Tashlich
Source: Uprooted