As you approach the Jewish New Year, you may be reflecting on this past year and might find that regrets or difficult moments from your fertility journey keep rising up.  This Tashlich ritual offers you an opportunity to cleanse yourself of these painful thoughts in a mini-mikveh (ritual immersion pool) and support you in entering the new year feeling rejuvenated. For this ritual you will either need a cup near a body of water or a cup and a large bowl of water.  You may want to perform this ritual in a place that is peaceful, quiet, and free from distractions. 

During the ritual of Tashlich, it is not customary to touch the water, but rather to throw the bread into the water from afar.  However, for this ritual you may want to actually touch the water and to combine the practice of tashlich with the ritual of mikveh. A mikveh is a ritual bath that is thought to help a person enter a state of greater purity. 

This ritual is designed to be done near a body of water, but feel free to instead do it with a bowl of water. 

Tashlich is a time for reflection on the past year, considering what actions from last year might not have served you well. It is also a time to consider how you want to present yourself in the world this coming year and to reimagine the best version of yourself.  

During your fertility journey, there might have been elements of your journey that you wish you had done differently.  Perhaps there were decisions that you made which you do not plan on repeating in the future.  Perhaps there were actions you took, that in retrospect do not appear to have been healthy and nourishing for you. Perhaps this journey impacted your relationship with others in ways that you wish it had not. 

Self-blame is not relevant here, as none of this is reason to fault yourself.  Rather, Tashlich offers us the opportunity to wash away some of these moments we do not plan to repeat and to envision a more positive way forward.

You may want to begin by taking three deep breaths and gently closing your eyes.  Allow moments from this past year to arise in your mind.  Watch them float through your mind as though you were watching a movie.  Simply watch and notice.  Look for anything that makes you cringe or perhaps makes you feel a bit of regret. 

Once you feel as though all the memories that are seeking your attention have received it, gently open your eyes.  Walk over to your water source and take your cup with you. Begin by filling your cup. Start to revisit those memories that you would like to wash away, and as you do so, pour the water from the cup on your hands alternating between right and left.  Keep doing this for as long as you need in order to wash away those moments. 

Once you feel ready, place your cup to the side and gently close your eyes again.  Take a deep breath and envision how you see yourself continuing on your journey this year, as the best version of yourself.  

When you have a clear vision in mind, take your hands and immerse them into the water.  Hold this beautiful vision in your mind and feel the healing waters embrace your hands.  When you feel complete, remove your hands, but invite the image to stay with you even after the water has dried.  Allow it to guide you and inspire you as you enter the new year. 


Booklet Section: Looking Back / Tashlich
Source: Uprooted