Soul Nidre
By Rachel Kann
I said I did my best,
but I know there is better yet
within this lonely bag of bones,
forgive me.
I tried, but not hard enough,
forgive me.
I gave up,
forgive me.
I disrespected my inner wisdom,
forgive me.
I lied when I said I was fine,
I’m not fine,
forgive me.
I took your pure love for granted,
mishandled your divinity,
forgive me.
I swept my indiscretions under the rug
instead of addressing them,
forgive me.
I lusted and succumbed to my hunger,
forgive me.
I fell in love with my own woundedness,
forgive me.
I have transgressed in ways I am cannot even name,
my shame so deep
I am unable to awaken
to the full brunt
of my inner wickedness.
I gave up,
I tangoed with my death wish,
I let fear win,
I hid my brightness,
I dimmed my light,
I denied my own power,
I lurked in shadows,
acted like I didn’t matter,
shattered my own scattershot heart,
forgive me.
I lacked faith,
forgive me.
I/Me/Us/We did not trust,
forgive us.
Excerpt from Soul Nidre, originally published in Hevria
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